The lying eyes of perceived acceptance in the fantasy world of sexual sin come crashing down when reality enters this world. In part one, we heard the story of a young man who repeatedly fought to maintain damage control when his secret life was exposed. He finally hits his bottom when his wife confronts him with the reality of a pending divorce. How will he respond? Will he return to the refuge of the lying eyes of porn or seek the true answer in eyes and sanctuary of His Savior?
Restoration Path Ex. Director
During a crisis you will always revert back to your most basic form of training. I went to talk to a friend of mine who is a youth pastor. I lied to him about how far I had gone. I led him to believe that I’m not that bad of a person. Somehow through all of that my basic form of training was to run back to the cross. I rolled through so many emotions but there was something in my heart telling me I wasn’t going to make it through this storm on my own. I got into Restoration Path and even then I wouldn’t own up to just how far into sexual sin I was. But even still I found my identity in Christ. It was crystal clear. No longer was I a scared survivor medicating with pictures or videos of women or with relationships with other women. I’m a tenderhearted warrior!! Ready to fight!! I stand in the gap backed by The Sovereign God. Protecting those who need it. Steering those who need direction to God and telling them the road they are about to travel is full of pain remorse and sorry.
Yes I’ve lost my marriage, my reputation, my credibility, my dog and my truck. But God has given me so much more. I fought God about disclosing my past with my wife. I intellectualized it saying I’ve done business with God and that’s enough. But I kept hearing this still small voice just asking the question, “Do you trust me?” Finally I give in and do what was commanded of me. I didn’t expect her to say anything other than what she did. I fessed up. I had 3 affairs during the course of our marriage. Now she knows. She said that just made it official. My sin had led me down a path I never wanted to go. All I could do was ask for forgiveness. In fact I ended up coming clean to everybody I had lied to. I didn’t expect very good responses. But something strange happened when I did. Each time I spoke to somebody asking for their forgiveness in lying to them they granted it. Many of them told me it changed nothing in our relationship except now we can build one on trust and honesty. Honesty truly is the way to receive the blessings God has for us in their entirety. I felt grace even greater fall down on me. Grace is so sweet. Mercy is met with gratitude. Forgiveness is freeing. For the first time in a long time I felt how deep God’s love is for me.
In Revelation 21:5 it says…, Behold I make all things new…. God has renewed my heart. He has shown me grace in ways I never thought possible. He’s shown me how He loves in very tangible ways through people on this earth. Because I’ve been given grace, my anger toward those who judge me is gone. I don’t care what they think. It matters not. I don’t need their approval. I have my Daddy’s approval. 2 Corinthians 12:9 Each time He said “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.
My circumstances have not changed and nor do I expect them to. But I have redefined them as a trial God put me through so I could regain my faith in him and spread The Gospel. I can’t wait to see what God has in store for me tomorrow and the next day and the next. But in the meantime I’m going to be His. I no longer want to be my own.
If you or a loved one finds yourself struggling with the dishonest world of sexual sin, then give us a call. We would be glad to work through the journey of healing with you. You can find out more about our services at www.restoratiopath.org