“The wives video intensive has been some of the most helpful counseling I’ve received in decades (and I’ve had a good bit of individual and couples therapy.) In this intensive, the focus was on me and not on my marriage or my husband’s behavior. I’ve been able to examine my own behaviors and patterns in light of my husband’s addiction and for the first time truly grieve what I’ve lost and start healing. My life is finally making sense again. I started the intensive in a desperate place and things got worse before they got better. Although I don’t know where God will lead me and what will become of my marriage, I have a plan of action in place. More importantly I feel like God is restoring my dignity and strength and giving me hope for whatever my future holds.”
Wives of sexual addicts are the most misunderstood group in our churches today. They are often overlooked, misunderstood, and mislabeled. They are overlooked when the husband’s addiction is revealed and the primary focus becomes getting him on the right path.
The belief is that if the sexual addiction is arrested or eradicated then the marriage will be saved. This leaves the wife in a place where her pain is ignored and her recovery is still dependent upon her husband getting well. She is often misunderstood when she appears to be doing well.
Many wives have learned to develop a façade of being “all together” to cover up their fears and pain. They are misunderstood when they try to express their emotions of pain and anger. They may have bottled up these emotions for years and when it does come out, it is messy. We don’t like messy situations in the church so we want a quick fix to clean it up. Her need to grieve is often misunderstood and seen as an event and not a process or journey.
The wife of the addict is often mislabeled as a co-dependent or enabler. These labels imply that the wife had knowledge of his addiction and encouraged, reinforced and enabled his addictive patterns. In many cases the sex addict is able to cover his addiction for many years without anyone having a clue about his secret sin.
One of the wife’s greatest fears is that she will be blamed for his addiction. Some of this fear was reinforced by the addict through his deflecting his issues and blaming those around him. This fear is also reinforced through media, family, friends, and the church.
The subtle message is “if you give him what he wants, then he won’t go looking for it somewhere else.” When the wife is overlooked, misunderstood, and mislabeled; she suffers in silence with no process or avenue for healing. When she is not heard, the sun sets upon her anger and pain and Satan gets a foothold. As more suns set, she becomes disconnected, bitter and indifferent.
Restoration Path offers a unique workshop for the wives’ of sexual addicts. We understand that many wives are unable to attend workshops, conferences or even personal counseling because of financial, employment and family concerns. The wives’ workshop is a 6 week video workshop that comes to you.
What is included:
- 15 Video Teachings – these are specifically designed to discuss the needs of the wife.
- Customized Workbook
- 6 Counseling Sessions – Skype, Telephone or Face-to-Face
- The Booklet – Ten Truths Wives Need to Know, written by David Jones
Workshop topics include: Powerlessness, Surrender, and Humility; Co-Addict Addiction Cycle; Dealing shame; Behavioral Numbing Behavior; Spiritual Woundedness; Walls of Defense; Non-Sexual Triggers; Stages of Grief;Forgiveness ;Boundaries; Accountability- Utilizing Women of Grace; Recovery Process; Healthy Spiritual and Emotional Intimacy; Strategic Plan of Action
As a wife, you will be able to complete this workshop in the privacy of your home during times that are convenient for you. You will be able to keep all of this material and refer back to its content as many times as needed. This workshop provides a message of hope and understanding.
The workshop is not about your husband. It is for your journey of healing and restoration. The theme of the workshop clearly reinforces that you did not cause or create his addiction. You are not responsible for his recovery. You are, however, responsible for your recovery.
This workshop provides practical Biblical based tools and techniques to help you in your journey of healing. You will leave the workshop with an individualized plan of action that you can incorporate into your local support system.
Our God is the God of Hope. He is still the God of Restoration. Wives of sexual addicts no longer need to suffer in silence. God so cared about your pain that He sent His only Son, to become fully acquainted with it and then to bare it. There is hope and your broken heart can be fully restored. Is today the day you start that journey?