Our God is the God of hope, healing and restoration. I trust you will be reminded of this as we present part 2 of My Journey to Freedom. Healing from sexual sin is very rarely an event and most often God uses a journey to heal. It is through that journey that we learn how to lean fully upon His strength and not our own. If you missed part 1, you can find it on our website at www.restorationpath.org
David Jones, Executive Director
My Journey to Freedom-Part Two
Throughout high school and college I still chased girls and watched porn in spite of giving my life to Christ in the 10th grade. I had absolutely no idea of what a healthy relationship was supposed to look like. I had not seen anyone walk the word as a dedicated believer. All of the respected church folk I knew used me to run porn between them and my step-father. I thought that was all there was to being a Christian; going to church, that is. I knew how to live the life of the religious. I knew it well. What I didn’t know was how to have a relationship with Jesus Christ.
It wasn’t until I began to actually read the bible for myself and study the scripture that the Holy Spirit began to convict me severely about my way of life during my college years. I began to see how the way that I was living was diametrically opposed to the life that Christ prescribed. As strong as my desire was to follow Christ and let him lead, my flesh had reigned longer and did not want to die.
I continued wrestling with this conundrum until I finally met the woman of my dreams. I thought to myself: This is just the ticket. I just need to get married. Once I’m married, then I’ll have all the sex I want available all the time. And I really love her, so it’ll be different. How tragic that I’d reduced my wife to ready pleasure for my personal needs. Furthermore, I made her responsible for fixing something that she didn’t break. That was too much of a burden to place on an unknowing victim: my wife. It was unfair that she became the surrogate of my sin. It was a dangerous proposition because when sin is fully conceived, it brings death.
Of course the predictable happened. I didn’t remain faithful, and as a result I almost lost my wife and children. But because God is merciful, and my wife was forgiving, I got another chance. Subsequently, as a condition of staying with me my wife demanded that I get counseling and attend a men’s group for men with my type of problem… sex addiction. Sex addiction? Yep. I was a bona fide sex addict. I didn’t learn that until David Jones told me what ailment I was suffering from. I figured I’d go to the meetings for about 3 or 4 months before going back to “regular life.” I figured because I was sorry and repentant that I’d be okay in no time. It’s four years later, and I’m still attending those meetings.
They keep my sin before me, which helps me keep things in perspective. What things? Well, first that I no longer have to carry the guilt and shame of my past. Secondly, I can forgive those who’ve damaged me in the past because of the forgiveness God has given me, no longer blaming anyone for my actions. Finally, those meetings keep me accountable to a group of men who are full of grace; men who walk the walk I walk with compassion and care.
Everyone’s relationship with their sexual sin is different. Learning how to cope with denying myself was akin to a dope fiend going through withdrawal. I literally had to detoxify myself of all the mess in my life. Coming to the realization that my addiction wasn’t about what it was about made everything much clearer, also. Setting boundaries and limiting opportunities for slip-ups became a priority as I sought to walk as a true kingdom man. Clint Eastwood once remarked in one of his “Dirty Harry” movies, “A man’s gotta know his limitation.” That’s sage advice.
I’m not yet at the end of my journey, because it’s a work in progress. But I’m well on my way. Being free is a good thing! Someone once said that the two greatest days in your life was the day you were born, and the day you realize what you were born for. I was born to be free to glorify God and fulfill my calling as His child! Are you free? Where are you on your journey? If you don’t know, I can help point you in the right direction.
If you or a loved one finds yourself struggling with the dishonest world of sexual sin, then give us a call. We would be glad to work through the journey of healing with you. You can find out more about our services at www.restoratiopath.org