Excerpts from: Top Ten Lies Sex Addicts Tell Themselves

Excerpts from:

The Top Ten Lies Sex Addicts tell Themselves

By J. David Jones, MS

Everyone’s relationship with their sexual sin is unique and different. In the case of the sex addict he will develop unique lies and distortions that will protect this secret relationship. This protection occurs because of 2 primary reasons. He likes his sexual sin and he lacks the ability to deal with the reality of his sin. He likes his sexual sin because it feels good and it meets some core needs. When a sexual addict sees an attractive person and that person smiles at him, his first thought is “that person wants to have sex with me.” With this thought and look, the addict’s brain releases chemicals that make him feel good. Each time he takes that intoxicating look, his relationship with his sexual sin is reinforced. Something that feels this good must be protected. At the same time, the addict is subtly addressing the core need of being wanted. Most sexual addicts carry around core need deficiencies. The longer he carries these deficiencies, the more desperate he will become to fill this void. In a lot of cases the addict is not aware of these voids because he never had them met to begin with. Let’s go back to the original thought. “That attractive person wants to have sex with me.” Each time the addict takes in this message he is attempting to fill the need of being wanted. Originally, this need was non-sexual but became sexualized through the constant input of sexual thoughts and images. Because these thoughts address some very important needs, he must protect his sexual sin.

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About David Jones

David Jones is the Executive Director for Restoration Path Ministries. David is a Memphis TN area native and lives with his wife of over 32 years and has two adult children. He is a long-standing deacon, ordained elder and Sunday school teacher. David has a Master’s Degree in Counseling from the University of Memphis. Restoration Path is founded on David’s experiences and teachings. David has over 35 years of counseling, mental health, and ministry experience. In 1998, he began providing intensive workshops for Christian men struggling with sexual addiction. His work has also included workshops for the wives and families of sexual addicts. He has also facilitated numerous training institutes. The teachings that are presented through the ministry workshops and intensives are the result of proven and biblically based techniques. He is also the author of 4 other books Goldfish Devotionals, The Blessing of the Thorn, 10 Truths Wives Need to Know, and The Top 10 Lies Sex Addicts Tell Themselves. He is the author and creator of the 4 and 3-day Restoration Path intensive sexual addiction workshops and workbooks. He is the designer, author, and creator of the Restoration Path video workshops and workbooks for male sexual addicts as well as the video workshop for the wives of addicts. All of David’s books and material can be ordered from the ministry website.

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