Excerpts from: 10 Truths Wives Need to Know

Excerpts from: 10 Truths Wives Need to Know

Living with a sexually addicted spouse

By J. David Jones, MS

The wife of a sexual addict is often the most misunderstood victim that exists in the church today. Her world is filled with a sense of absolute betrayal. She feels betrayed by the man she committed her life to and often feels betrayed by God. Her world is one of varied emotions. They range from total despair to rage in a matter of moments. Her world is often consumed by guilt, shame and embarrassment. She often blames herself for not seeing “the warning signs” of her husband’s secret sin. Most often she feels alone in her struggle and afraid to share her plight because of how others may respond or how it will affect her children and the family’s reputation in the church.

When a sex addict’s sin is exposed within the church, the focus and attention is often squarely focused upon the addict. This intense focus is warranted in the early stages of his recovery and healing. His sin has been exposed and he is at the center of the chaos and crisis. This crisis of his addiction needs to be stabilized.

In the past several years many books, workbooks and programs have been developed to address the needs of the sexual addict. Very few books, workbooks and programs have been developed to address the spouse’s needs. Because of this intense focus upon the addict and the lack of resources or guidance for helping the spouse, she is often left to fend for herself.


About David Jones

David Jones is the Executive Director for Restoration Path Ministries. David is a Memphis TN area native and lives with his wife of over 32 years and has two adult children. He is a long-standing deacon, ordained elder and Sunday school teacher. David has a Master’s Degree in Counseling from the University of Memphis. Restoration Path is founded on David’s experiences and teachings. David has over 35 years of counseling, mental health, and ministry experience. In 1998, he began providing intensive workshops for Christian men struggling with sexual addiction. His work has also included workshops for the wives and families of sexual addicts. He has also facilitated numerous training institutes. The teachings that are presented through the ministry workshops and intensives are the result of proven and biblically based techniques. He is also the author of 4 other books Goldfish Devotionals, The Blessing of the Thorn, 10 Truths Wives Need to Know, and The Top 10 Lies Sex Addicts Tell Themselves. He is the author and creator of the 4 and 3-day Restoration Path intensive sexual addiction workshops and workbooks. He is the designer, author, and creator of the Restoration Path video workshops and workbooks for male sexual addicts as well as the video workshop for the wives of addicts. All of David’s books and material can be ordered from the ministry website.

One Response to “Excerpts from: 10 Truths Wives Need to Know”

  1. Delores July 31, 2012 7:34 pm #

    Well, its been about five years since I discovered my husband’s addiction to sex and one April 30, 2012 he decided to stop fighting against his desires, I guess and move in with someone 1/2 his age and declared that God told him to divorce me because of the pain I’ve caused him over the years. I want to stop fighting but he insist on doing everything he can to get out of the marriage without paying alimony and have decided that his new life is worth everything. Our sons are adults but none the less horrified…….thanks be to God I have a great pastor, therapist and really good friends. I’m willing to forgive and start a plan of recovery but he doesn’t seem to want that. A really good book is “I don’t love you anymore, What a spouse should do?” Dr. Burke. I’m really believing God for a miracle because I finally agree with God that I Hate divorce. I also hate adultery. It all hurts so badly that sometimes it feels like someone is punching me in my stomach with a fist. The rejection is cruel and the feeling that my life partner ‘just might not recover is so hurtful! I’m angry and doing all that I can to protect our family inheritance and he is doing everything he can to protect this new relationship…….Im believing God for a miracle and that the spirit of division, hurt, and pain will leave our lives. I gave my husband your information just before he left because I could tell that he was struggling really bad…. but I didn’t know he was planning to move in with someone. Please pray for me and what’s left of our family. Thank you.

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